I can tell a lot about a person by what they drink at the Holiday Christmas Party. Here’s what I’ve gathered.
- Rum and Eggnog- You’re in the Christmas spirit. However, you will be on the toilet later in the evening. Having “the sugars” is optional.
- Rum and coke- You’re a mans man. You also might bring your own crystal glass to the party. You scowl a lot. You often stand alone.
- The Supplied Punch At A Party- You’re a risk taker. Whoever mixed it may have gone a little heavy on the sauce. All it takes is Jenn from accounting to get a little loose in the wrist with a bottle of Seagrams and she’s night night. It should also be noted that the punch bowl can be a conversation hub, spelling trouble after crushing some loud mouth soup. You have pending HR complaints.
- Wine- You fancy. Later in the evening people will quietly make fun of your purple teeth. You’ll complain on Monday about how you were so hungover even though you “only had a couple”.
- Beer- Simple. A statement that you don’t have time to dick around at the mix table. You’re here for one reason. To crush beer and karaoke “Simple Man” while sobbing.
- Amber rum and anything- You’re old. You have patches on your elbows. You’re remarried with teenage step children that you don’t like and you don’t even hide it.
- Shots- We don’t like you. Stop forcing them on us. We act like you’re the life of the party, but we know you don’t have shit to do tomorrow and we have to wake up with kids in the morning. No…pornstars are not a Christmas shot McKenna.
- Scotch- You’re management. You’re gone by 8. You don’t need to see this.
-Chad